Summary of Healing Opportunities (so far):
Area 1: The Past
1. "Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood:" Women
a. Recall encounters with women accurately and honestly. Listen.
b. When Spirit is present, calmly teach correct responses.
2. "Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood:" Self
a. Recall sexual experiences with self accurately and honestly. Listen.
b. Show concern, compassion and love in dark moments.
c. When Spirit is present, calmly teach correct responses.
d. Positive reinforcement.
Area 2: The Present
1. Experience and Interpret Current Motivations Towards Women
a. Openly consider Jeordi (and any others). Listen. Learn.
b. When Spirit is present, calmly teach correct principles.
c. Determine appropriate actions based on principles. Plan these.
d. Experience the plans. Discuss and modify as needed.
2. Experience and Interpret Sexual Self:
[Mix-'n-Match the following randomly, as needed or desired when all parties are safe]:
a. Becoming comfortable with passive sexual self.
b. Becoming comfortable with active sexual self when safe & appropriate
1. Casual (5-25)
2. Enjoyable (25-50)
3. Intense (50+)
3. Learn Self Control
a. Take any of the actions in 2b (above) but with intent to discover how mind & heart can influence the body (and vice versa).
b. Learn from these and talk about it.
c. Gain confidence through experience (no shame!)
4. What is Manhood?
a. Discussion of Priesthood principles that lead to identity.
b. What is the "Power of Godliness."
c. What do men provide, and how?
d. Faith, trust, and D&C 121.
e. Temple prep scriptures (study as family and with self).
5. Romantic Love (Lauren)
a. Openly and safely consider feelings, motivations, desires. (Listen)
b. Prayerfully consider potential ALL appropriate options.
1. What should criteria & goals be right now? For whom?
c. Carefully plan the best action(s)
d. "School Your Heart" (teach) considered, appropriate responses (internal / sexual).
e. Positive reinforcement and reward for correct actions (the Spirit will provide much of this).
Area 3: The Future
1. Develop a clear vision of your role as:
a. Son
b. Brother
c. Father
2. Prayerfully develop personal principles ("code") with which to govern self towards these roles
a. Include how to take care of yourself first (journal stuff, expanded).
b. Write down your code of conduct.
c. Develop specific goals on how to proceed with family (first) then as a missionary.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Nov. 4 2012
Skyler, I thought I’d document the pattern you followed this morning so you have an outline for further work in your journal. As it all worked so well I thought it could also serve as basis for future reinforcements.
1. Strong Advance Preparation: Both parties had read scriptures etc. before starting.
2. Recognition of Spirit present / Discussion on Todd's motivations.
3. Review of recent lessons and tracks.
4. Tuning in to self / Listening deeply. Focus on depth and full awareness of everything. Testimonials about sacredness.
5. Felt encouragement to feel more. Also felt pain.
6. Problem resolution: pain. Triggering of fears. Discussion about causes. Trust.
7. Relaxation / Break
8. Fears dissipated through open-ness, re-connecting, freedom, discussion.
9. Balance / Connect / Control experience via "30-50." Learning more about how things work.
10. Query about what Skyler still wanted to do. Answer: "Resolution" (Geordi).
11. Discussion of Pixie Sticks and Father's progressing objectives.
12. Experiential discussion on motivations regarding "Attraction."
13. Discussion on elements of past attractions being partially predatory (obsessive, focusing, isolating, linear). Conclusion that Skyler was always - if subconsciously - seeking sexual experiences due to repressed needs.
14. Skyler's recognition of mental patterns including (not limited to):
a. Conflicts between altruism v. sexual needs.
b. External v. Internal motivations ("why should I pursue?")
c. Is it ok to use women as motivations for righteousness? Or are they the blessing for same?
d. How Skyler used altruistic masks but honestly felt that some of his motivations were pure.
e. Conflicts between pure motivations and sexual drives that pushed selfishness.
f. Fight or Flight conflict on sexuality ultimately leading to flight, sorrow, repentance.
15. Threading the needle: Skyler's recognition about balance between internal / external, and how the gospel provides the light needed to attract women.
16. Final relaxation / re-balance.
17. Gratitude expressed for Skyler's great experiences.
1. Strong Advance Preparation: Both parties had read scriptures etc. before starting.
2. Recognition of Spirit present / Discussion on Todd's motivations.
3. Review of recent lessons and tracks.
4. Tuning in to self / Listening deeply. Focus on depth and full awareness of everything. Testimonials about sacredness.
5. Felt encouragement to feel more. Also felt pain.
6. Problem resolution: pain. Triggering of fears. Discussion about causes. Trust.
7. Relaxation / Break
8. Fears dissipated through open-ness, re-connecting, freedom, discussion.
9. Balance / Connect / Control experience via "30-50." Learning more about how things work.
10. Query about what Skyler still wanted to do. Answer: "Resolution" (Geordi).
11. Discussion of Pixie Sticks and Father's progressing objectives.
12. Experiential discussion on motivations regarding "Attraction."
13. Discussion on elements of past attractions being partially predatory (obsessive, focusing, isolating, linear). Conclusion that Skyler was always - if subconsciously - seeking sexual experiences due to repressed needs.
14. Skyler's recognition of mental patterns including (not limited to):
a. Conflicts between altruism v. sexual needs.
b. External v. Internal motivations ("why should I pursue?")
c. Is it ok to use women as motivations for righteousness? Or are they the blessing for same?
d. How Skyler used altruistic masks but honestly felt that some of his motivations were pure.
e. Conflicts between pure motivations and sexual drives that pushed selfishness.
f. Fight or Flight conflict on sexuality ultimately leading to flight, sorrow, repentance.
15. Threading the needle: Skyler's recognition about balance between internal / external, and how the gospel provides the light needed to attract women.
16. Final relaxation / re-balance.
17. Gratitude expressed for Skyler's great experiences.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Manhood, Part 1
Please Define the following terms in the context of our conversation on Oct. 29, 2012 (only). Please keep comments to brief 2-3 sentence descriptions of what you remember. Do not extrapolate, re-interpret, or expand. What we're after here is reinforcing what Father taught you when the Spirit was present, that is all.
---------------
1. Simplicity:
The means by which peace is achieved. Minimises the need for additional concern by focusing output based solely on what is needed.
10/29: When I was wrapped up in the blanket and thinking about my family.
2. Sexual Baseline:
A state wherein environmental factors do not affect sexual needs, and sexuality is based on choice and a desire to improve one's connection with others (namely the Lord and their partner).
3. React or Act:
To choose to do something dependent on ones own desires, or environmental requirements.
10/29: Should I choose to express myself sexually and, if so, why?
4. Humility:
The willingness to trust that God's will is wiser than your own, whether he seeks to admonish or bless you.
10/29: This is God's power, so He is in charge.
5. Trust:
Having faith in someone's goodness.
6. Free Will:
The capacity to express love, understanding, and to serve by action.
10/29: I don't have to humble myself, but I choose to.
7. Whole Soul:
A state wherein you are aware that the Lord knows your intents are right, and that your faith is in him.
10/29:
8. Sorrow:
A form of emotional pain which is generated by the understanding, realisation, and desire to eliminate the pains of others, especially when you were a potential cause.
9. Priesthood:
The power to uplift others and bring them unto the Lord as you act in his name.
10. Manhood:
The capacity to be a faithful male and serving with love those who you have dominion over. See Priesthood.
---------------
1. Simplicity:
The means by which peace is achieved. Minimises the need for additional concern by focusing output based solely on what is needed.
10/29: When I was wrapped up in the blanket and thinking about my family.
2. Sexual Baseline:
A state wherein environmental factors do not affect sexual needs, and sexuality is based on choice and a desire to improve one's connection with others (namely the Lord and their partner).
3. React or Act:
To choose to do something dependent on ones own desires, or environmental requirements.
10/29: Should I choose to express myself sexually and, if so, why?
4. Humility:
The willingness to trust that God's will is wiser than your own, whether he seeks to admonish or bless you.
10/29: This is God's power, so He is in charge.
5. Trust:
Having faith in someone's goodness.
6. Free Will:
The capacity to express love, understanding, and to serve by action.
10/29: I don't have to humble myself, but I choose to.
7. Whole Soul:
A state wherein you are aware that the Lord knows your intents are right, and that your faith is in him.
10/29:
8. Sorrow:
A form of emotional pain which is generated by the understanding, realisation, and desire to eliminate the pains of others, especially when you were a potential cause.
9. Priesthood:
The power to uplift others and bring them unto the Lord as you act in his name.
10. Manhood:
The capacity to be a faithful male and serving with love those who you have dominion over. See Priesthood.
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